Sunday Sharies 05.29.22

  A QUOTE

"Never ask advice from someone who has something at stake or something to lose from your decision. The more objective the person is the greater value you should place on the input."
― David J. Lieberman, American psychotherapist and author 
 

  A QUESTION

When you're working through a tricky decision, who do you turn to?

  A THOUGHT

One of my favorite lessons passed down to me from my mom is to recognize the difference between advice and input, and to avoid asking for the former.

Advice is direction, it's instruction on the correct path forward.

Input is just data, it's laying out the options and analyzing different outcomes.

Asking for advice versus asking for input is the subtle but powerful nuance between "what should I do?" and "what should I consider?"

My mom would point out that when you ask for someone's advice, you're asking them to do the thinking for you. Or as often happens, you run around seeking advice until someone's recommendation is what you wanted to do in the first place.

Be particularly careful when the other party has something to gain (whether consciously or subconsciously) from advising in a certain way. If their counsel could produce a monetary, psychological, or convenient upside for them, your wellbeing might not be what their advice is solving for.

When we ask for advice, we absolve ourselves from blame for whatever the outcome ends up being. When we ask for input, we remind ourselves that the choice is ultimately ours to make.