Sunday Sharies 04.10.22

A QUOTE

“Window gets an armrest and a wall. Middle gets two armrests. Aisle gets an armrest and a little bit of extra leg. We’re not animals. We live in a society.”
— Jim Jefferies, Australian comedian


A QUESTION

What’s the most surprising thing you’ve ever witnessed on a plane?


A THOUGHT

Nothing is quite so demeaning to the adult experience as in-flight meal time.

You regress to toddler tendencies because, after all, you just paid hundreds of dollars to strap in and be fed.

The moment new smells pierce the recycled air, necks crane in search of the source. There's an audible gasp of delight as the slender food cart makes her grand entrance.

She slowly rolls down the aisle, teasing you just out of reach. Minutes feel like hours.

You stare impatiently at your flight mom as you desperately try to lip read the options she's listing for 11C.

Giddy with anticipation of feeding time, you take out your little high chair table.

Fidgeting starts with about three rows to go. Eating is soon!

Your mind is racing: should you get water or Coke with your meal?? You go with Coke -- you deserve it.

The feast begins.

Warm orange chunk for your main. Crunchy green shreds for health. Gloopy yellow pile for dessert.

You obediently make your way through each section on your big kid training plate: closest squares first.

Now you wait 45 minutes for your flight mommy to come clean up your mess. You need to stay buckled up nice and safe.

While you wait, you try not to nibble at the rest of that roll. Or did you just butter the cardboard the other food groups came in? Who cares, it tasted amazing. You cave in and polish off the buttered box.

Later, when sky law permits you to unbuckle, you make your way to the air toilet to deal with the consequences.