Sunday Sharies 02.13.22

A QUOTE

“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.”

— David Brinkley, American newscaster

A QUESTION

If people thought the way that you thought, what would they do differently?

A THOUGHT

It's impressive how pixels on a screen can set us off. An oddly worded email, an offish text, a correction to our work we disagree with.

We can't help it - if something rubs us the wrong way, our visceral reaction is to squash our annoyance or anger. We so often feel the need to be right and we believe it’s always someone else’s fault, so we send back a curt response, a defensive reply, a finger pointed outward. But we know - deep down - that none of these reactions resolve the root emotion ("I feel slighted", "I feel misunderstood", "I feel disrespected").

How do we process and proceed? I find it useful to remind myself: I want to move forward with them, not make an example out of them.

The cure to our irritation starts by distancing ourselves from it. Time helps reveal the disproportionate amount of attention we give to the trivial way something is said relative to the actual goal of the exchange. We can put the interaction into perspective by broadening the scope and stepping outside of our narrowed focus.

That's not to say "get over it and move on" but rather "pause and reflect before responding." There is a 100% chance that a little extra processing time will improve your ability to show compassion and flex your own thinking, which is much more important than proving you know better.